Opinion Piece #3: Single Action to Hate

One of the basic things in life that people usually do everyday is the interaction with members of their own social circle. This circle are what we know and call it "the circle of friends".

So basically, we will do a lot of things together with our friends who share common interests, help each other out, and many more stuff relating to bonding of friendship. Mainly all the things we'd do with friends are aimed to be ALWAYS positive and they all come in many kinds of form like motivation, support, and advice.

But do all these things really matter to you after a few days? Well, usually yes. What if I put it after a few years? Do all these things still matter to you? Will you even remember them? For many, usually yes, while for some, no. Now, what if I added that your friend did something bad to you (maybe on purpose or not on purpose) and it happened at most twice, and you got really upset because of that. Again the same question, do all the good things your friend has done for you still matter to you? Even if it's just a mistake, a normal human error?

What I wanted to say here is, sometimes when our friends did something wrong, even for once, we tend to remember that more than the good things they did before. No matter how much we are pleased with the good actions of a friend, a single mistake is enough to change a perspective. Though, it would also have to depend on the degree of the mistake. A small mistake is often forgivable for anyone, while the big ones are difficult to forgive sometimes. Because of this, we begin to develop the feeling of hate towards that person and this tends to go on for some period of time. Making up for the mistake is the usual course of action to repair the damage and this surprisingly takes up several good deeds..

I'm stressing on SEVERAL GOOD DEEDS..

several good deeds versus ONE SINGLE MISTAKE..

Now I'm saying that it's very easy to hate someone because of a mistake, and the demand is higher just to make it up for it. We may even change our perspective on that person; for example, we knew that person to be a very nice and kind dude, but after certain actions that were quite unacceptable to his friends, now we now say he's an asshole or any other labels just as bad. We totally FORGET his good side.

Well, of course, not EVERYONE is gonna hate. Some will try to understand the reason behind his actions and accept his mistakes, move on, and still remember him for being the nice guy. And not all situations involve a high demand to make up for the mistakes made. Sometimes it only takes once and the friendship is back to normal again.

As a person who has been in both situations, I too have ever hated a really good friend because of his/her mistakes and all the good things they've done before were easily forgotten. And I've been hated by friends for my mistakes. Even tried experimenting with it once which eventually led me to write on it in this blog. It doesn't matter how close you are, it doesn't even count, it happens to all levels of relationships.

On hindsight, still, no man is perfect, no friendship is perfect..
We just keep doing our best..

Well, I guess now that I've mentioned all this, I would like to publicly say here that I've forgiven anybody who has hurt me and have done wrong to me.. and I'm sorry to anybody that I've hurt and have done wrong to you. Though for some actions and decisions I've made, I've no regrets for making it. If that'll make you continue to hate me for it, I won't stop you.

Until then, see you in the next post!