Hello people, and to the world. I'm giving up to another of my limited time for blogging. And yes, it's been, again, so long since I did so.
As I have mentioned it long before, I quit publicizing my life on the internet. I find it better sharing it personally among my friends.
But.. there's something I wanted to say. And I don't often do this anymore.
I held back many things that I wanted to say to her. But all of them led to one fact: my feelings for her. Those words include "a shoulder to cry on", "be there for you", "your comfort every day", "I wanted to love someone like you", and many more others.. all held back and replaced with some words better fitted for "just friends". Her interest for another guy made me held back more. Ending up silently falling for her everyday.
And yes, it is often that I took interest to girls first out of curiosity... that I judged her but it so happens that she was the opposite of the person I thought she was. Later to find out that she was my type of girl. I can't really find the right words to explain why I felt this way towards her. I tried.. yet it still doesn't really express it. The fact that I was being in the friend-zone, the relationship still felt special, at least for me. We shared stories, throw jokes, laughed, and I don't think we've done much yet because of the busy study schedule we both have.
We grew to be best friends together. And it's only going into the 1st year of our friendship. As I do appreciate the friendship a lot more than anyone can imagine, I wanted more than that. But because of this, I get pretty weird sometimes around her; which I was constantly commented on by her and was labelled "alien" along with my other buddy. But I gave a thought about what if I never did tell her about what I felt? I mean, I've made it known to her twice already and of course I wasn't that lucky enough. Things went bad for a while before we started talking to each other again. That's when I thought I can tell myself; maybe she's not the one. Yet, the feelings get the better of me.
She often thinks that no guy would want her, I mean, why would she think that? As far as I know, she's funny, smart, a good listener, friendly, beautifully cute (is that a word? *laughs*), and to top it all off, she's the best girl-friend I've ever had. I may have overlooked her weaknesses sometimes like being easily mad but that's not a big deal to me because nobody's perfect, like me being almost sensitive to all sorts of emotions, and that I always depended on people I trust to keep me looking forward instead of looking back.
We grew to be best friends together. And it's only going into the 1st year of our friendship. As I do appreciate the friendship a lot more than anyone can imagine, I wanted more than that. But because of this, I get pretty weird sometimes around her; which I was constantly commented on by her and was labelled "alien" along with my other buddy. But I gave a thought about what if I never did tell her about what I felt? I mean, I've made it known to her twice already and of course I wasn't that lucky enough. Things went bad for a while before we started talking to each other again. That's when I thought I can tell myself; maybe she's not the one. Yet, the feelings get the better of me.
She often thinks that no guy would want her, I mean, why would she think that? As far as I know, she's funny, smart, a good listener, friendly, beautifully cute (is that a word? *laughs*), and to top it all off, she's the best girl-friend I've ever had. I may have overlooked her weaknesses sometimes like being easily mad but that's not a big deal to me because nobody's perfect, like me being almost sensitive to all sorts of emotions, and that I always depended on people I trust to keep me looking forward instead of looking back.
Finally, it was the 3rd time I told her about my feelings towards her, though it was forced out of my mouth... and it looks like she's giving me a chance this time. However, time and space is all that she needs right now. I noticed confusion in her. And I'm not gonna push it.
So, I wanted to say, take your sweet time. I will be here, anytime, for you.
